Last night, a good friend kept a promise and delivered me "some tough-love realness." "Your family is not dead," she said. And she was quite right, of course. There was no question of that fact, but its meaning is what she helped me to see.
My partner, our son, and our baby daughter are not here with me. They are away for the week. And the purpose, the very reason for our temporary separation is so that i can finish my thesis.
I had slipped into self-pity after dropping them off at the airport yesterday morning. But last night at 8pm, after i had come home and consoled myself with Cap'n Crunch, ice cream and pizza, my friend called — as she and i had agreed she would each day while i'm here alone. She snapped me out of it. She did so with tact and gentleness, but she did it. She redirected all my efforts to rationalize my anxiety. She told me to just get to work.
I'm on it now.
